The Pathetic Man Part 3

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September 19, 2011

The Pathetic Man: Part 3 (Final Part)

The Pathetic Man didn’t take a lot of things into consideration. For one – not everyone has the same background or accepts the same ideology especially when it concerns the greater nature of the universe. One thing that has always driven your narrator crazy is people who are oblivious to reality. That reality being that different people practice different faiths and that not everyone recognizes Muhammad, Jesus Christ or the prophets and saints as being anyone but just another average Joe from human history. It’s insulting when someone openly “thanks the Lord Jesus Christ” during a public event that accommodates a wide variety of people, some of whom don’t believe Jesus Christ to be anyone special.

The Pathetic Man has made many mistakes and its clear that the mistakes are flaws in his character and no amount of education can fix this complete lack of common sense he embodies. That is why he is what he is: The Pathetic Man. An educated man, sure but, also a stupid one at that. No common sense, no respect and absolutely clueless.

Beware of the Pathetic Man for your film could a victim… of his Pathetic intentions.

THE END

-E

 

 

The Pathetic Man Part 2

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September 19, 2011

The Pathetic Man: Part 2

The Pathetic Man craved media attention. In every sense of the term he was a “Media Whore”. The end of all his means was to get coverage, at least by the press in his small village. Everything he did had to result in “exposure”. Most men work 9-5 jobs, contributing to society in positive ways and then spend time with their respective families at the end of each day. They spend time with their friends and family on the weekends and in the end its always about their loved ones. Other men wish to contribute to society in far bigger, grander ways. To make a positive impact that will change the course of human history (I fancy myself in this category). Others crave power… politicians or appointed civil service workers high up the chain of command (like your commissioners and so forth). But the Pathetic Man craves not love, affection, family, friends, power or the ability to contribute positively to society… he craves but one thing: FAME. Famous for what? You got me.

“This is what it’s all about” he writes to the filmmakers, sending them a link to the local news coverage “this is an end to a means”.  It never was about the films or the community or anything else except the news coverage obtained as a result of a half ass “festival”. This is why when the participants were trying to enjoy the films, the Pathetic Man and his mistress would photograph them, with Flash On - or why he chose to do his news interviews in the next room over, thus further intruding on the exhibition of the film. Because the films didn’t really matter, the enjoyment of the day didn’t really matter, the people who came to watch the films were pawns – the real show was the show HE was putting on for the press… the fiction put forth was that HE was doing something good for the community when in fact it was nothing but one horrible lie.

What’s next for the Pathetic Man? Stay tuned.

-E

The Pathetic Man Part 1

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September 19, 2011

The Pathetic Man: Part 1

Once Upon A Time…

There was a pathetic man who was well educated and had a confidence level that rivaled. His biggest problem wasn’t that he was bald or that his wife is hot and dedicated to doing whatever he demands, but that he was a fiendish self-promoter. A “man” whose likable face and demeanor is as misleading as your average political campaign ad. His biggest problem wasn’t that he didn’t have vision or good ideas but his inability to see outside of his own absurd behavior which in turn has allowed him to go on acting obnoxious and absurd in all the ways one could.

It was never clear to the peasants of the village whether or not the pathetic man meant well or if his seemingly good deeds were part of his ploy to gain notoriety… part of this thirst to be a notable figure. He did not know, did not understand and could not for the life of him acknowledge the basic concept of “politeness”. Not being polite in the general sense of the term, after all, he was polite, charming and so forth, but his actions outside of general greetings begged to differ. There’s more to being polite than your demeanor and the way you present yourself… it’s also about the actions you take and most important: the true purpose such actions are being taken.

This man, through the power of self-grandizing, has managed to get by on nothing but faux fumes and half assed fibs. The pathetic man made a series of promotional videos for his craziness. His failing business, his religious ideals… everything was included in these horribly done videos that were clearly filmed with a home movie camera… or a web cam or something wretched. For the life of him he couldn’t get anyone to watch these horrible, inappropriate videos. So the pathetic man concocted a vicious plan… vicious in the end, perhaps not vicious in his own pathetic mind. He decided to brand himself a filmmaker and start a “film festival”. He invited legitimate independent filmmakers from across the country to submit… acceptance into his event was guaranteed. Who wouldn’t submit to this? The catch? Well, the pathetic man who has managed to bastardize the term “filmmaker” peppered the film program with his 30-45 minute promotional videos in a last ditch effort to get people to watch. That’s right… every other program was his own, horribly made promotional videos.

In a last ditch effort to… who the hell knows. It was never clear what his true intentions were… was it to promote his company? His religion? Himself? His hot wife who is probably really magnificent in bed? One thing is for sure, the pathetic man has absolutely no respect for film, independent film, film as an art or anything else. With time wasted. With money wasted. With morale depleted… What did the man get out of it? Exactly what he wanted: an interview on his local news station and a few pictures of the crowd inside the “screening room” so that next year: he can pull the same stunt again and be a little bit more “legit” than he was this year.

More on the pathetic man series to come!

-E

The Pancake Killer!!!!!

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I had the pleasure of interviewing the filmmakers of “The Pancake Killer” – a short film that screened in our block when we showed Caroline of Virginia at NewFilmmakers New York. Now that I’m working with the series, I was able to reach out to them and get talking. Here’s what they had to say:

Josh Steinbauer and Josh Reynolds are the creators of a short film that screening with New Filmmakers on July 4, 2011 called “The Pancake Killer” – breakfast/noir that utilizes the best of brunch to do away with New York’s most hapless victims.

AIFF – ALASKA International Film Festival

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September 17, 2011

AIFF – Alaska International Film Festival

Hey all,

So I was looking through open submissions on WithoutABox and got to looking at the Alaska International Film Festival. I know about Anchorage (same letters AIFF) but not “Alaska”. Did some homework you all might want to check out:

http://whatdoino-steve.blogspot.com/2009/11/while-working-on-anchorage.html
http://www.filmmaking.net/blog/show_article.asp?id=94

Cheers,

-Eric

Filmmaker Profiles

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September 17, 2011

Recently I started working with the NewFilmmakers New York Screening series to help promote their filmmakers and ultimately the entire series. I created a series of videos called “Filmmaker Profiles” which I hope to let grow out and expand into hundreds (if not thousands) of filmmakers. I will feature some of the filmmakers here on this blog, if I think that their experience could be of value. That way I’m not only limiting this blog to my experience as a filmmaker, but also the filmmakers I interview.

WithoutABox and Film Festivals

Eddie Green is a new filmmaker from the Bronx New York – he recently screened his film Burning Bridges at the New Filmmakers New York Shorts Series at the Anthology Film Archives. In Eddie’s New Filmmakers interview he talks about the film festival submission process and makes quite a few valid points. If you’re in the submission stage of your film, you should watch and listen to Eddie’s interview and take what he says into consideration.

-Eric

My Filmmaker Profile

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Recently I started working with the NewFilmmakers New York Screening series to help promote their filmmakers and ultimately the entire series. I created a series of videos called “Filmmaker Profiles” which I hope to let grow out and expand into hundreds (if not thousands) of filmmakers. I will feature some of the filmmakers here on this blog, if I think that their experience could be of value. That way I’m not only limiting this blog to my experience as a filmmaker, but also the filmmakers I interview.

In an effort to demonstrate how I see most of the filmmaker profiles going, I even shot one of myself and will utilize it to promote future screenings.